Renee Louise Bucher

Dec. 1947 - Aug. 2020

About the Service

An outdoor Funeral Mass will take place on Friday, August 14, 2020 at 10AM at All Saints Church University Parish, 4040 McKenna Dr. in Turlock.

Renee L. Bucher, age 72, died August 2, 2020 with her family by her side in Turlock, CA.

Renee was born December 7, 1947 in San Jose, CA to Ralph Albert Bucher and Magdalene Van Perre.

In her early childhood years, her favorite place to visit was the Santa Clara Carmelite Monastery across the street from her beloved grandparents’ house. She also loved the beach, mountains, and all things nature.  She was a lover of animals of all kinds and especially enjoyed bird watching. Pelicans were her favorite.

Her interests included family, gardening, crocheting, and reading.

She was a devout Catholic and had a great reverence and love for the Secular Franciscan Order. From a young age she had desired to become a Nun and devote herself to Christ. But God had other plans for her. One of her most favorite prayers was of St. Francis of Assisi. In her later years, she was a faithful volunteer for Catholic Charities, “St. Vincent de Paul” working in their food pantry and thrift store.

Renee had a warm, nurturing spirit. She loved people and had the gift of hospitality. Her home was a revolving door to those in need, spiritually, emotionally, and physically. She was a mentor to many throughout her lifetime. A great encourager with a listening ear and the warmest of hugs.

In her early years she worked for the Santa Clara Probation Department as a Clerk. Then for many years, in the medical field as an EKG Technician and Medical Assistant. She was also a devout caregiver to family and friends.

Renee is survived by her four children: Parker Hathaway, Penny Delgado (Danny), Marcus Hathaway (Maritza), and Shawn Irey; brothers Ralph Bucher and Rich Bucher; sisters Rhea Holland, Rhonda Wilhelm, and Michelle Carter; and 10 grandchildren. She was preceded in death by her son Ryan Hathaway, parents Ralph Albert Bucher and Magdalene Van Perre, and her beloved younger sister Regina Bucher.

An outdoor Funeral Mass will take place on Friday, August 14, 2020 at 10AM at All Saints Church University Parish, 4040 McKenna Dr. in Turlock.

In lieu of flowers, charitable donations may be sent to Community Hospice Foundation at www.give.hospiceheart.org.


Remembrances

  1. To My gorgeous, faith ridden aunt Renee as well as my middle name sake.. you inspire me always to see the beauty in everything God given. I will see you again, and will watch the nature show forever with you.

  2.  
    To know Renee Bucher, or Auntie Renee, as I knew her, was to understand and to experience, in the deepest way possible, true love.

    Corinthians 1 describes this kind of love, the kind that Renee gave,
    without effort:

    “Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged. It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance.”
     
    And endure, she did; through many difficulties and painful circumstances throughout her life. There were years in her life where she turned to alcohol for comfort.  During those times, she often, and almost by default, offered apologies.  She said, “I’m sorry,” far more than she said, “I love you.”  And, I know I don’t have to prove to any of you here that Renee made it a spiritual practice to end every conversation with an emphatic, “I love you”….followed by…your name.
     
    “I love you, Jin -nif- eeerrrr!”, she’d say; insisting on eye contact so she knew that I both heard and believed her.  And, I did!  Because, though she often had trouble with follow through, Renee embodied love. So, though her inconsistency was frustratingly predictable, it didn’t matter much. Because what she lacked in consistency, she made up for with the quality of her love when I was with her.
     
    Sometimes her apologies made me feel angry or annoyed. Looking back, I know now that she was doing her best to model accountability and love. 

    So I would like to say that I am sorry, Auntie Renee, for the many times I lead with judgment rather than love.  I am sorry I for the times I held a grudge and refused to let go of my disappointment.  I am sorry for being so heavily influenced by others’ versions of you.  I am sorry that, at times, I could not see the strength in your vulnerability.  And, I know this will make you laugh:

    Ready for it?

    I am sorry for all of my stinkin thinkin.
     
    I am not sure where I would be today, if not for your capacity for grace, forgiveness and your conscious choice to love me unconditionally.
     
    Renee loved to talk about her AA family and the solace she found there. She had pride and humility in her ability to sponsor and help others; but mostly, she spoke of her love and gratitude in finding a truly like-minded community standing with her every step of the way.
     
    Renee loved to talk about God and quote scripture.  And, when the very complicated issues, she faced in this life,
    became overwhelming, she turned them over to God; resting in his care.
     
    Renee liked to talk about her siblings: Generous Ralph, Beautiful Rhea, Dutiful Rhonda. Devoted Rich and Lovely Michelle.  We often talked about her mother, Lynn. I privately delighted in the fact that she sounded just like my Nana, especially when she laughed or called me, “honey.”

    We often spoke of her sister, our Beloved Gina, and her marvelous creativity and talent.
     
    Renee bravely survived and learned to manage many health issues.  Nevertheless, she spent her time volunteering at her church and local food bank and helping out her neighbors whenever she could.  In fact, there were times when she was visiting us and she would need to go because she, “wanted to check on her neighbor.”
     
    She was so generous of heart; even when facing open heart surgery, among other procedures. She whispered to me, as I leaned over the rail of her hospital bed, positioning myself as closely as I could to hear her.  “Oh, this is nothing compared to the things you’ve been through, honey.”
    She said with a smile and a wink; as if she were trying to instill me with confidence on her behalf, so I wouldn’t worry.  And she made it clear then, when I asked her how she felt about dying, that she wasn’t afraid. In fact, she was looking forward to being reunited with her grandparents, her mother, Henry, and her sister. She knew, without a doubt, that she would be returning home, to her Father in Heaven, who would be waiting there, with the rest of her celestial family, to greet her when she finally came home.  I was fortunate enough to speak with her a few weeks before her death. We had the same conversation we had before her open heart surgery. Only this time, she would be looking forward to death, as a means of being reunited with her son, Ryan.
     
    Renee loved to talk about the people that she loved! Her sister in law and best friend, my Aunt Ginny , was never far from her thoughts, and always in her heart.  Their friendship, a testament to time, strengthened by the sheer fierceness of their love for one another; forgiving enough to work through any conflict, soul sisters in the truest sense of the words.  One of my favorite memories of Renee and Ginny was when the two of them attended the Bat Mitzvah of my daughter, Amelia. We all got to dance together. And I got to look out in the ocean of our friends and my husband’s family, to meet the gaze of my own. And I clearly remember that day. I remember it because after the ceremony, Renee kissed me full on the lips.
    It was as if she wanted me to feel her love of god; as though she were trying to breathe his breath into me.
     
    And, I experienced the breath of God and his love for Renee when she spoke about her own children and grandchildren. When my Auntie Renee spoke about her own children, and her pride in their accomplishments; Parker and his work on the force, Penny and her mothering abilities and her love of God. Marcus, his devotion to his family and his fortitude, Shawn’s gentleness, she truly beamed with love.  Above all else, Renee was most proud of the way her children love, take care of, and support each other, and their own children at every turn, no matter what. They have each other‘s backs.
     
    So when I remember Auntie Renee, I will remember a beautiful being who held me in her arms as she danced around the living room to Simon and Garfunkel; swaying gently with me and humming, so I would know what that kind of movement felt like, that kind of freedom. That kind of Love.
     
    When I remember Auntie Renee, I will think of a beautiful, complicated woman, who struggled and suffered mightily; but who also found redemption in God, and her own type of fierceness, which was evident in the way she loved, did not hold a grudge, was able to forgive, who never lost faith, was always hopeful , and endured through every circumstance.
     
    When I remember my Auntie Renee, I will remember her love.
     
    And So, I will end the way she ended every conversation; with an emphatic,

    I Love You, Auntie Renee!

  3. My heart and prayers go out to Renee and to all who knew and loved her. She was one of my older cousins. So we didn’t hang out much. I do remember the holidays we spent down in the South Bay and up in San Bruno. Like her brother and sisters, they all came from a special mold of love, caring and helping others when possible. I will miss her.

  4. My thoughts and prayers are with all of you at this special time. I have wonderful memories of my dear cousin Renee from our childhood trips to California…..overnights with cousins in the summer room at Grandma Van Perre’s house…..trips to Santa Cruz…..walks to Keily’s Market for ice cream….swimming at the Santa Clara Pool…borrowing books from the Santa Clara Library….visits to Mission Santa Clara Chapel at Santa Clara University where Grandpa taught and many daily walks to her favorite place, the Santa Clara Carmelite Monastery. Her gift of hospitality even shinned brightly during her childhood years as she was so very warm and welcoming. Renee referred to me as her cousin from “back East.” Physical distance kept us apart all these years, but she has always held a special place in my heart and prayers. I am very thankful for her love and all the memories.

    Cuz Marta…..Cincinnati, Ohio

  5. Renee will always be remembered as a kind and gentle spirit. She always had words of encouragement for everyone, I never heard her speak ill of any other person. It has been an honor and a privilege to know such a kind and loving person, her presence here on earth will be greatly missed but we will meet again on the other side!God bless her forever and ever.

  6. I will miss my friend, I will miss our lunch dates. We enjoyed trying different culture foods, some we liked and others not so much ,our favorite was always Wool Growers in L.B. going to the movies or just a nice drive . Great full for the memories and our friendship . I surly will miss you my friend. See you on the other side.

  7. I knew Renee for about a year. Amazing how a short time brought me to know deeply such a beautiful, spiritual lady. Thank you Renee for being a blessing in my life. I am also grateful to her family for allowing me to spend such quality time with her this last couple of months. Heaven gets more wonderful every day.

  8. Rene was my spiritual friend and advisor. She was my best friend. She got me with my off the wall humor, and we were sisters in Christ. I could have problems, and she would find the appropriate verse or prayer to help me. She was always right on. I miss her, but I’ll carry her spirit in my heart.

  9. Eternally grateful to have had some time with such a loving person let alone having her for a sister. She is forever in my heart ❤️

  10. Grandma ‘Ne was a kind and loving woman who never judged anyone, no matter what they did or looked like. She was always there to listen to anyone who needed to talk and she was there to wipe my tears when I was sad. One of my fondest memories of her was watching Harry Potter movies and eating either potato or tomato soups that she prepared for me. She definitely fed her grandkids well. She’d let me go through her vegetable garden in her backyard and pick snap peas and tomatoes for myself. Another memory that I can recall is how she always gave my twin and I Tic-Tacs whenever we rode in the car with her. I had a huge sweet tooth as a child so that was one of the many things I’d look forward to when I went to go see her. That and the See’s Candy butterscotch lollipops she had kept in her purse for me and my cousins. I loved her so much and still do. She lit up the lives of everyone that was fortunate enough to meet her. I miss her so much already.

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